New Year's Eve !!

It's New Year's Eve ! Woohoo!!

Have you all written out all your resolutions for the new year in a list?

Mine's gonna be a LOOONG one!

Had a talk with the Momsie yesterday, and it felt like she just gave me the green light to grow up and fight for my dreams. Time to put all unnecessary thoughts and worries away. Time to leave the past behind.

To be honest, I had a good year, nothing great, no where close to fantastic.

Many things have happened, the good and bad ones too.. But mostly bad.

Hence, I'd like to say that it was a lousy year for me, but I'm way to grateful that I'm not sleeping on the streets to complain about how bad my year went.

So, just before today I've been packing up all my old things and throwing the ones I don't want out and giving those that I don't need away. Clothes, toys, decorations, etc.. I'm not a big fan of hoarding. At least I try anyway..

Meanwhile, I've also been making plans for a better year ahead. But I can't say it out loud yet. I may jinx it.

They always say that your life will turn out the way you make it (Western). Maybe I'll just sit here and wait for the opportunity to come (Eastern). But how does it happen when opportunities doesn't come your way?.. I have all this big plans for my future, fulfill my dreams, how I'd like to be able to help the helpless.. It's not really my call right now because well, I'm pretty much stuck at this very position until the opportunity arises. I'm sick and tired of waiting.

(You see my conflict here !!? I've always been having these messed up thoughts- Eastern culture + Western influence- and now that I'm seeing a completely and utterly ridiculous Western man by name, whom by blood is still an Eastern, btw, I'm being influenced to go against everything my culture can accept and fighting for my dreams the unconventional way!)

Anyway..

So, come 2010, I'm making my own plans. No more planning around the unpredictable future. I'm MAKING it happen. And if it doesn't work out, I have nothing to regret because it's way better than sitting down here waiting for it to happen. I'm sure I'll have more to regret if I don't MAKE this opportunity for myself.

No more waiting.

It's gonna be a good year. I can feel it. I'll make it a good one.

Have a great day peeps, after all, it is the last day of the year !

Goodbye 2009 !!

Xx.

Happy Christmas !

So what if I've lived in Malaysia all my life.

I refuse to succumb to the lack of Christmas spirit in this God forsaken land =(

There's nothing planned for this Christmas. There's not even a tradition. No music. Nothing red or green. No blings on the tree. Almost no presents for me under our tree.

Apart from the fact that I'm still mourning (because the boyf just left for home after staying for almost 3 weeks although he promised to come back in a month "and a bit"), I'm also feeling very dejected because no one's accepting me into Australia at the moment. So, I'd expect this Christmas to be filled with laughter and joy from the family, whom I love very much but are way to busy with other things in their heads. Seems to me like I'm the only one bothered that nothing's line up this Christmas. Fark. And I can't exactly make plans with anyone other than family because we're suppose to have "family time". For I might leave next year. MIGHT. Fark.

And the boyf's living in a place with so much spirits (prolly cause his sister is still 8), and he's not appreciating it. Family, presents, wine and fruit cakes with rum. I need that.

Talk about being born in the wrong part of the world.

Sigh.

Apart from that, I'm alright.

Happy Christmas all!

Xx.

P.S. to the boyf : I want a WHITE Christmas next year boo! If that's even possibly down under. Maybe with all this global warming..

Canine Lover Fell in Love with a Feline

I have always been, still am & will always be a dog lover. They are just so adorable. And let's not forget that they are smart wonderful creatures, well, a good number of them anyway. Yeah, I'm biased. But, not in a way that screams "Cats, stay away or you'll be burned !!".

So when I came across this early this morning, I fell in love.

http://video.yahoo.com/watch/6522901/16929718

Enjoy people!

Xx.

Welcoming December

It's a known fact, a common knowledge that December is the best month of the year. Well, at least it is SUPPOSE to be. As a student, we all know that it's that time of the year- School holidays! Awesome vacations! Perfect getaways! And don't you even dare forget about Christmas Presents!

As a student, the person that I was every year for the past 22 years, it was amazing! No classes to rush for, no assignments to hand up, no deadlines what-so-ever, not even Student Council or Editorial Board could get in the way of my beauty sleep or those rare precious moments where I can do whatever I'd like and there was no one who could say NO to that. Let's not even dare forget those late-nights out with the friends, gossip moments with the girlfriends, & of course, the holiday get aways that evolved from going with the family to going with the friends. Well, to be quite honest, I enjoy both as much, in very different ways.

This year, something very different is happening to me. I'm working now, as are most of my friends. Time is a factor now as we have lost almost all flexibility to move about as and when we like. Plans have to be made weeks ahead of time, if not, months. But everyone still looks forward to that very vacation. Bugger. One I wouldn't be able to make this year. Leaves are scarce & I have too many commitments =( I have to invigilate exams, plan the students' graduation, piano exam, edit a research, propose another research, and the list goes on.. It's actually quite depressing. Of course, the one thing I can rely on is the fact that "The Perfect Holiday" is coming to me this year. Yes. Him.

That aside, I have little to look forward to this December.

For once, maybe more than a little perfect Christmas with wine and fruit cake (with Rum). Wonderful treats.

And a special present.

Dear God, let it be known that I only have ONE Christmas wish Proper this year.

That very letter.

Xx.

AnoTHEr Wonder of Technology.

Being a person with a normal job now, mostly @ the desk when I'm not teaching, I find myself with less and less time for myself and my loved ones. Also, since the Sister is back, I cannot exactly fit all the "I want to do"s and "Need to do"s plus the "Would like to do"s without feeling a little dead by midday. So. I figured that I've got to do everything during my working hours, which are pretty much relaxed because my only obligation preparing for lectures. Of course, the 'overly-efficient' part of me took over when I first started out with this job, so I'm pretty much done with all that I needed to do with regards to preparing for lectures. Also, there's only 2 weeks (+1 week) left before the exams begin, so I am pretty much free. The only thing that is not flexible is that I have to stay put on my desk even without much work to do. Anyway, all I've had these weeks were my trusty lap top & phone which I have been putting to good use.

And recently, I have discovered... Wait for it...

ONLINE RETAIL !

Oh, the wonders of it.

I barely have the time to do anything lately, let alone shopping. And let's face it, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I am NOT a morning person and waking me up anytime before the clock strikes 9 in the a.m. makes me tired and fatigued all day long (On a totally unrelated note, I just found out that chronic sinusitis causes fatigue as well, SO THAT COULD BE THE REASON FOR MY LACK-OF-ENTHUSIASM for anything at all, most of the time. Also, I've stopped my regular vigorous exercising since I went to Melb and have not recovered from chronic laziness ever since. Apart from fatigue, my weight has also been a problem but that is besides that point).

Anyway, now that I've discovered online shopping, I'm totally in love with the idea. Of course, I'd very much prefer to do my shopping the conventional way because it's just cooler that way BUT I don't have the friggin' time or energy given that time is a factor and you can only do so much in ONE day. So. I've resorted to the unthinkable. Buying without being able to check my merchandises twice =( But it sure as hell beats not buying anything at all. I'm a girl. I have NEEDS. Among them (and pretty much on top of the list) is that I love to buy new things. Because it means I get to use new things too.

Change, after all my good people, is the Spice of Life !!

It is also a form of therapy, I tell you. Anti-Stress! Anti-Boredom! Anti-Anxiety! As a self-proclaimed not-yet-fully-registered psychologist, I highly recommend it. Might also work as an Anti-Depressant if I get things to work my way.

Unfortunately for me, most of these "boutiques" do not ship their merchandises to Malaysia.

I'm talking about Forever 21, Victoria's Secret, Charles & Keith, etc..

So, imma get them sent to the boyf & he doesn't know it yet but he'll just have to pass them to me!!

Xx.

Blogging, a Lifestyle.

Me: I think my blog's kinda dead.

Sis: Yes. It kinda is.

So, I decided that I'd do something about it.

See, blogging is not just an avenue to bitch about one's life or in fact, many peoples' lives. It's also not a place just to put pretty pictures of oneself, photoshop-ed of course. It is in truth, a lifestyle.

I'm not the type who'd go on and on about my daily life, on what I've been doing or what I've been saying. Also, as much as I love taking pictures (being on both sides of the camera is fine by me), I highly doubt I'd parade it here for the world to see and judge. That's why they created Facebook.

But I love reading blogs by people from around the world, and I find that these daily life routine thingamajig seem to be the most popular ones. You know, the ones with photoshop-ed near-to-perfect photos. Those picture-perfect shots with their better halves. I'm especially amazed by how it is really the girls who are reading about the other girl's life. Or, woman, if you must. Could it be that the rest of the world really do give a damn about what one was doing the past day and how she felt about it? I'm really under the impression that the fatal attraction is caused by the gossips. Please, don't bother justifying. I am in every way as guilty.

As for me, I'm still deliberating. Am I up for this lifestyle? I still don't know..

Wouldn't it be more fun if you got to know me the conventional way?


Xx.

Transparency of the WWW

It is amazing how technology is doing wonders in our lives. Whether it’s for work, school or play, more than half of the population in developed nations cannot live with the Internet. Or 3G. Or as it is probably now known as 3.5G? Lol.

Anyway, my point is, almost everyone is addicted to the internet. Emails and text messages from loved ones that we cannot go without, updates of your friends on Twitter and Facebook, not to mention the “kay pohs” who cannot live a day without prying into their friends’ photos on Facebook, Flickr and the such. Yours truly included, of course.

My point is, that it’s scary how transparent our lives are become because of this. You do one thing, and BAAAM!, the world knows about it the next day. In fact, you don’t even have to update your own statuses and the next thing you know, friends are asking if “this” or “that” really happened. And you’d go like... “How’d you know about it?” because you did not publicise it at all. And they’d go, “Yeah, I saw it on FB”. Wtf!?

Talk about invasion of privacy.

There are aspects of my life that I am very open about. Yes. But only to those whom I trust with my life. I don’t expect the world to know my every gritty details, heck, I don’t want them to know. There are things that I’d like to keep private. Things that are personal to me. Yeah, so you’d think that me having a blog kind of contradicts that. BUT, I get to choose what I want you to know. I make that decision. I still have that power. But when someone else talks about me on spaces they shouldn’t be doing, that is not fair. Because I’d never do that to you.

Talk about pride and dignity. What about job opportunities and stigmatization. Just because I did something out of my lack of judgement once does not mean that I did not learn from it. Does not mean that I did not grow up.

Because it so many ways, we are not the people we were yesterday. I’m giving you that benefit of doubt. It’s fair that I demand the same.

Placing something on the internet may mean that you are throwing one’s life away, even if you don’t realise it. Information, false or otherwise true will affect one’s reputation. Therefore I ask you, who are you to do that to a person? Is it your place to judge?..

So, before you make comments or judgements that could affect a person’s reputation, think twice. And when you come to a conclusion that contradicts your conscience and better judgement, think a third time.

Not everyone will have that one chance to make things right again.

Xx.